The Wish of a Black Rose.

The Wish of a Black Rose.

_MCD.

Ever since I was a bud; Ever since my little, delicate petals are enclosed in the protective hug of sepals; I heard the couple’s voice. They talk and talk and talk till the sun goes down, till the birds return to nest, till the light takes a nap and the night wake up. I wonder if they never get bored. I never did. His sweet words blending in the honey from her voice, they together made the best delicacy I have ever heard before. No wonder they never get bored. I wanted to see them. but I have to wait until the ‘right time comes’ as the leaves told me. But when does that 'right time' comes? I don’t know. Neither does leaves. but then the thorns whispered from beneath, “one fine morning when the touch of the warmth shine comes straight from that yellow ball rolling in the sky, when the cool breeze comes to you climbing mountains, crossing meadows, touching oceans, travelling deserts, carrying the scent from everywhere they go and gift it to you with its lovely cuddles and passionate kisses then my dear rose bud you will bloom.” That’s really amazing I thought. I can’t wait to be kissed that way, and to be cuddled with the scents of desert, ocean, meadow and the mountain. I wish the right time comes tomorrow, the first thing in morning.

Thinking, dreaming, wishing and waiting I slip into sleep.

@#$

Unlike every day, the sepals didn’t wake me up today.  But something else did, something warm in touch, something cool brushing me off the sleep. The aroma of a hundred spices, flowers blended in one, filled me with awe. And then for the first time I have opened the eyes. “the right time came” leaves rustled silently. “beautiful” I shouted looking at the world around me. “What is this place?” I asked. “Park” the wind whispered. “what is a park” I questioned. “the place where they grow you, water you and take care of you” the yellow ball hanging in the horizon said. “Who are they?” I questioned again. This time none answered but looked at each other, a puzzled look. “they grow us, water us and take care of us. They must be gods” I said.

“they might be” said the yellow ball.

“they could be” murmured the wind.

“they must be” fluttered the leaves.

“No they aren’t” squealed a voice, new voice, someone I didn't hear until now.

I looked around once again, devouring the beauty of the park and also checking for that anonymous new voice. But I didn’t find it. “Who are you?” I shouted.

“they call me weed” the voice replied, rough and battered it sounded.

“so Mr.Weed where are you?” I enquired.

“the world is not only that is around you. there is also a part of it that is below you” Mr.Weed said grunting.

I tried looking down. But I couldn’t. why? I’m on the top of the stem, heading at the sky. I born like this. Maybe I’m created to recreate at the heights with the cool breezes and the yellow ball showering me all its warmth love. So I told Mr.Weed that I can’t look down. Mr. Weed smiled. I felt the smile a little peculiar but didn’t asked him about that. “the smile is not peculiar. It’s wicked” the leaves said reading my mind. I wondered what’s ‘wicked’ is. but more than that I wonder why Mr. Weed said ‘no, they aren’t’. So I was about to ask Mr.Weed what made him think differently than the yellow ball, breezes and my own leaves. but the leaves snapped in saying ‘shhh….’ stopping me to speak to Mr.Weed any further.

It is about the time the couple arrives here, the park as everybody calls it. So, I waited. 'How do you recognize them if you didn’t see them before?' Questioned the wind. “I hear their voice every day. An orchestra of grape juice and fresh honey mixed with creamy milk. How can’t I recognize such a beautiful voice, I sure can.” I said to the wind.  And while I’m saying that, I heard it, the orchestra that even Beethoven cannot help but envy.

That is the first time I saw them, the couple, the best in the world. Or maybe universe. She’s like rainbow wearing pajamas. He’s like the sunshine after rain, beholding her beauty in his light.  I wanted to be with them. drenching in their talks and in their love. I shared my thought with the leaves. The leaves said nothing but sighed. ‘despair?’ I thought, ‘but why?’. The thorns overheard my words and shouted at me. He said “I’m not letting my rose go anywhere. It will stay with me and only with me.” Suddenly I felt a discomfort. Something in me is not feeling protected of the ‘thorns’ any more. Instead that something in me wants to run away from it.  To my surprise ‘Sepals’ remained silent all along the talk.

The boy from the couple walked up to me and drew his hand at me. I’m being chosen! Taken to the love I wanted to be in, being gifted to the person I have always admired. His hand almost approached me and at the gap of an inch or may be even less it is diverted to the rose beside me. He plucked it carefully avoiding the thorns hurting his fingers and walked away with it. As my heart sank in vain I saw him gifting that red rose to the girl.

“but why? Why not me?” I cried.

The sun consoled me while setting in the west.

The breeze sympathized me by growing cold and colder.

Seeing me the leaves, too, wilted in sadness.

Thorns told me not to worry about it without a pinch of concern towards my pain.

Sepals as always remained in their eternal silence.

But Mr.Weed didn’t attempt to sooth me. Instead he insisted on hurting me more and more.

“Because you are black” Mr.Weed said.

“what?” I shouted, less in anger more in surprise.

“Are you so stupid? Don’t you know your own colour?” Mr.Weed shouted back.

“I can’t see myself. How can I know my color. Am I really black?” I asked, almost crying.

“Yes. You are a black rose and people don’t like black roses” Mr.Weed shouted.

“shut up weed. Just shut up” wind scolded Mr.Weed.

“Am I black, leaves?” I asked.

“Don’t listen to him. He is wicked” said leaves.

“Am I black?” I insisted.

“Of course you are” Mr.Weed grinned at me.

But I didn’t believe him until the thorns said the same.

“He’s right. You are black. And that boy will never choose you. Neither the girl” said the throns as if he’s slashing me with the whip of his words.

I said nothing. What more can I say? I cried alone. Even with the wind, the leaves, the thorns and sepals around me, I cried alone. The sky cried with me too. In the rain I drenched, trying to clean off the pain. But couldn’t. the pain only grew more and more with the rain. And while I’m being drenched in tears more than raindrops I heared a whishpere. A very small whishpere that I didn’t mention at first. But then I did. I heard it. “Don’t worry my dear rose. I have solution” it said. I looked at it. It is crawling on my sepals towards my petals. It traced its path with dirt all the way from the roots, through the stem, from between the leaves, crossing the thorns and now crawling on sepals, slowly it reached to the center of my petals.

“who are you?” I asked him.

“I’m Worm. Earth Worm” he introduced himself.

“You have a solution?” I exclaimed.

“Yes, my darling, I do.” He said the words with a voice as sweet as nectar, as soothing as the touch of a dove feather.

“what is that?” I squealed in excitement and a little hope.

“WISH” said the worm.

I looked at it puzzled, bewildered.

He crawled on my wet petals drenched in tears caressing my tired heart.

“look at the stars, my rose” he said “those tiny twinkles scattered on the dark mat up high above your head, look at them.”

“And?” I asked him unable to resist my urge.

“And ask a wish. A wish that made your heart a melancholy, a wish that your brain lost all nights’ sleep thinking upon, a wish that eats you from inside out like a maggot does to a corpse. Ask that wish to the eternal skies and the shooting stars high above you. Ask them to grant your wish so you can sleep in peace and your heart can be free from malice.” Said the worm.

I did exactly the way he said.

I wished the skies and the stars twinkling in them, saying,

“Oh, mighty celestial beings, the great blue ocean on the top of the world and all those glittering magic gold fishes twinkling, swimming in you, I pray, I seek, I beg you all a wish. And that is, the wish is, ‘I’m a black rose in a garden of reds, I’m lost rose in the maze of love, I’m a despair rose in the desert of rejection. I want to reach the oasis, I want to be found by the hands of love, I want to become a red rose that everyone adores. Heavens high in sky, and oceans it beholds, the magic gold fishes it houses, please grant my wish”

I still doubt his remedy, but I got no choice. So, I believed him yet doubting him. Somehow wishing the skies lightened my heavy heart. Looking at me feeling better the clouds stopped to cry and the rain ceased to shower. With all the pain and doubt inside my heart I slipped into sleep, a shallow sleepless sleep.

!@#

I’m so tired that I woke up so late in the morning. Clouds witnessed my agony in night and as an act of concern they covered up the sunlight from falling over me so I sleep undisturbed. But I slept too much that even the clouds couldn’t manage to stop the light that long and finally the sunshine hit me and woke me up. It is the yellow ball in the sky that noticed it first. Later the wind and the leaves too noticed it. Thorns almost cried after seeing it. The weed, though I can’t see him, I’m sure would be so upset looking at it. But I didn’t see it. Because I couldn’t. I don’t know if sepals saw it. They just remained the same way as they always are. I guess they don’t care about me much. They just stay with me no matter what? Is that an unconditional love? Or even love? I don’t know. It is the worm that began to dwell in the deep folds of my center petals that told me about it. It crawled out of the inner folds of petals and whispered in to as it always does. it said “the wish is granted”. I’m so in daze that It took me a moment to make sense of what he is talking about. But then I really screamed in surprise. “Is it true?” I asked the worm. “Yes, it is true. You are no more a black rose. From this day, you are a Red rose, a very beautiful red rose” the worm told me. I asked leaves for a conformation. They all said yes in synchrony.

“hey wind. Look at me. How am I looking now?” I asked.

“you are so beautiful Mademoiselle.” Said the wind.

“thank you, Monsieur,” I giggled as I replied.

I’m so happy now. If you can catch all my happiness together now, the world would not be enough to store it. I just can’t wait for the moment the couples come and take me with them. But I have to wait. So, I waited. The worm became my best friend and began to live in the deep folds of my RED petals. The couple came and sat in the park. The shower of sugar began to rain as they both started talking about love with love. I looked at her big eyes, thing fingers, and much thinner finger nails. I’m going to be held by them, their touch, their warmth, their love. I can’t wait, come on boy, pick me soon.

Everyone is happy about it except the thorns. He is angry on me. Don’t know if that is for not listening to his words or for leaving him. Anyway, I don’t care. From the time he shouted at me yesterday, saying I should be with him and only with him, I felt an urge to run away. And now is the moment for my freedom. The boy rose up from the seat and walked towards me. His hand is stretched forward, but not at me, at the flower beside. Why? Why god why? I shouted crazily. Surprisingly as if he listened to my shouts his fingers ran over the rose beside and towards me. He held me so softly, his smooth hands felt much safer than those spiny thorns ever felt. He plucked me gently, I didn’t even feel the pain. But he did. The zealous thorns pierced through his skin bleeding him red. ‘I hate you, thorns’ I thought. Even after the wound and the pain he held me so carefully like he’s holding a just born baby. ‘How lovely he is’ I thought ‘how lucky she is’ I admired. As he walked towards her, taking me with him. I thought ‘how lucky I am!’

I waved at the leaves and the thorns, even though I hate them I want to give a proper farewell so I waved my petals at thorns, too and also at the Mr.Weed.  A final good bye. At last I saw Mr.Weed. He’s so ugly. No wonder why he hates humans, the most beautiful creatures.

The worm inside my folds said “see, he loves you more than he loves the girl”.

“No way” said I but after a moment of pause I asked him “Does he?”

“see the way he chose you among all other flowers and plucked you with so much care and even after he got hurt he’s holding you like you are his treasure. Can’t you understand it?” the worm murmured.

After listening to the worm’s words, I too felt the same. I involuntarily blurted out “I love him too”.

“Of course, you do” the worm grinned.

The boy reached the girl, bent on his knee and handed me to her.

“No, no. I want to stay with you” I screamed. But he didn’t listen. But the girl took me with the same affection of the boy. Her palms, and skin is much softer than his, like a bed made of clouds. I felt comfortable and warm. But I want the boy. I love him. For now, I lay my back on the girl’s lap and feasted on the syrup of their conversation.

The wind occasionally came to me, brushing me.

“See me. They love me so much.” I told to the wind.

“Be careful, their love is so confusing.” Uttered the wind.

“He is zealous” told the worm inside me.

“You are zealous” I told the wind.

“You are mad” said wind and went away.

“Hey yellow ball, ever felt being so much loved, like me?” I asked.

“Love is so tricky my dear, you will soon see it” said the yellow ball rolling down towards west.

“He is zealous too” said the worm in me.

“Yes, he must be. Who can’t be zealous of me!” I told to the worm.

“the girl?” worm questioned.

“the girl?” I too, questioned back.

But no one of us know the answer. After few moments of silence, the worm whispered again “he might love the girl more than he loves you”.

“but he bled for me” I said.

“Only to gift you to her” the worm said.

“He loves me” I resented.

“What if he loves the girl more?” the worm questioned.

I don’t have an answer. I have waited all this years, cried all the night, wished the skies, turned my color and all this for what? For a boy who loves someone else?

“Wish the blue skies and white clouds” said the worm.

“Wish what?” I asked the worm.

“the wish that is eating you up alive. the wish that breaching your heart and soul. Wish it.” The worm insisted.

And I did it. I wished for it. I wished the skies saying, “oh my mighty sky, and the floating butter in sky, oh my everlasting blue sea, I seek you for a wish, a wish to keep my love alive, a wish to keep my heart unhurt. and my wish is," I was about to ask for the boy to love me more but then the worm said in my ears, mumbling, "wish for the boy to hate the girl". Don't know why but I did it. I said the words the worm said to me. I said to skies "my wish is, the boy should hate the girl."

Why did I do that? I should have wished for the boy to love to me. "it's okay" said the worm. "if he doesn’t love the girl, he will definitely love you. who else is beautiful than you if not that girl." said the worm. He's right. I'm the beautiful red rose. once he hates the girl, he has no choice but love me. So, I awaited the wish to come true. and the worm too waited with me. as always, the sepals remained silent. The wind didn't seem to like my wish, the yellow ball didn't say good bye while leaving in west.

Suddenly the couple began to quarrel. Boy's sweet voice turned harsh. Girl's beautiful eyes turned wet. I felt bad looking at her. "See, it's happening" said the worm, crawling into my folds, "he's beginning to hate her". The day became dusk. the light faded to night. their voice is no more a nectar but began to grew bitter. he scolded her. she cried. he shouted at her, she cried. he blamed her, she cried. And I drenched in her tears. deep in my heart, I felt guilty but then worm said "The girl don't deserve the boy. you deserve him". hearing his words, envy took over the place of guilty in my heart.

She threw me at his face and left, crying. "see, you got him" said the worm. 'Yes, I got him' I thought. he took me in his both hands and kept staring at me.

"Forget her, she's not the one. I'm the one for you. Love me. I love you." I said. but he didn't hear. his angry eyes slowly turned teary. but why? He got me. I'm the best. and he got the best. why he's crying?

"Hey don't cry" I said.

"he can't hear you" said the wind.

"but why?" I asked.

"You broke his heart" said the night's darkness.

"But I love him" I said.

"Then why did you break his heart?" asked the stars.

"Because I want him." I said.

"you don't break the heart of the one you love" said the wind.

I remained silent, bewildered.

"Don't listen to them." said the worm. "I'm there with you. I'll be with you forever"

The boy stood up, holding me in his hands, he looked at me for a second and drew me close to him and kissed me.

his lips, warmth with love and pain, touched my petals. "Is this how the kiss feels. it's so beautiful" I said. "See, you got this because of me" said the worm. 'Yes' I thought.

he kissed me for a long time, to me it felt like forever and I wish it is forever. but it is not. he held me in his hands and looked at me. his tears bathed my body. he's crying like a child. 'he misses her' I thought. "He'll forget her" said the worm. but the guilt kept growing in me.

He then dropped me to ground and walked off, stepping on me. "It hurts" I cried. He didn't listen. neither did wind, nor the leaves, nor the darkness, nor the worm. And the sepals, as always said nothing.

My soft petals, crushed under his boots, my beautiful red color smudged in dirt, my tender body is now lying on the gritty ground. I cried. the wind saw me but thought I deserve the pain. The darkness saw me but didn't care. The leaves saw me but didn't mention. The stars stared at me in sympathy.

"why did it happen to me?" I asked the worm.

"you ruined it all." said the worm.

"what? I did exactly the way you said" I said to the worm.

"I'm leaving. bye" said the worm and left me, crawled onto the ground, leaving me alone.

"wait, don't leave me alone." I screamed. but he didn't listen. he slowly crawled away.

"hehehe..." I heard a laugh, a crooked laugh. I looked around and found it was Mr.Weed.

"forgot me so soon? I'm Mr.Weed" he said.

I looked at him, he's close to ground, his body full of dirt, he's the exact opposite of beauty.

"I remember you" I said.

"you must have remembered my words too. they are not gods. Are they?" he said.

I remained silent. his words are hurting. but they sound to be true.

"they are all the same. they only love you till it is favorable to them. till it is comfortable to them. but once they feel you are hard to handle, they will leave you and walk away just like that. they are not gods, they are demons." said the weed.

Not all his words sounded true to me. but they are not all false either.

I cried, alone. Nobody listened to my cries. Not even the sky saw my pain this time. I cried alone, in the dark cold night. Everybody left but the sepals are still with me. I asked them "you don't leave me. do you?" they remained silent. "Do you love me?" I asked them. silence. "you don't just stay with me because you got no choice. do you?" they still remained silent.

I'm withering to the harsh cold winds, decaying in the dirt and is vanishing from this world. But nobody cares. and that hurts more. Just before the last breath slips away from me I heard the thorns say:

"I told you not to go. but you didn't listen. See now, you left me alone and none of us are happy. black or red I don't care, you are my rose, but sadly not anymore. I miss you rose, forever and beyond. I miss you"

THE END.

 [written by 'Majety Chakradhar (MCD)']

 [Image source: http://topalbums.asia/search/macy%20grey.html]